Authentic Wedding Traditions

Last week, the 3-Minute Catechesis touched on the Church’s view of marriage as a sacrament. The Church looks beyond the wedding day and works to build and strengthen the foundation a couple needs to live out their marriage vows. Even so, there is a lot of attention placed on the wedding day itself.

On old English wedding rhyme suggests that, on that special day, the bride wear “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.” Most weddings these days are a combination of old traditions and new ideas, and couples struggle to find a balance of these elements in their wedding.

Much of what is considered “traditional” at weddings includes social customs from a bygone age, customs which no longer correspond to our current understanding of marriage. For example, at one time, people believed that it was “bad luck” for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony. This is little more than unfounded superstition, which the Catechism of the Catholic Church denounces as a “deviation of religious feeling and of the practices this feeling imposes (paragraph 2111).” Another custom has the bride’s father “giving her away” to the groom, which reflects a time when marriage was arranged between the groom and the bride’s father. This comes from a practice long ago, when the woman was seen as property to be given and received. Outdated practices like these, while still permitted and practiced, no longer reflect contemporary reality or faith.

That is not to say that all traditional practices no longer have meaning. The English rhyme serves as a reminder that a marriage is a blending of man and woman, old and new. “Something blue” has been connected to weddings for centuries: in ancient Rome, brides wore blue to symbolize love, modesty, and fidelity. Christianity has long dressed the Virgin Mary in blue, so purity was associated with the color.

But it is important for the bride and groom and their families to understand that, traditions aside, Church and society emphasize marriage as a mutual decision by equal partners with free will.

What does the Church see as necessary in a wedding? Since the couple has made the choice to be married in the Church, the assumption is that God will be part of this wedding and this marriage. So the wedding ceremony, which may take place during a Mass, will be a joyful occasion of prayer. Preparation for the wedding will include choosing appropriate Scripture readings and prayers. For those couples who choose to have a nuptial Mass, their first meal is the Eucharistic feast, a sharing in the Body and Blood of Christ. This is a wonderful tradition and definitely the right way to begin a marriage!